Category Archives: Change

Change, Getting Through, Health, Hypnosis, Self-Hypnosis

How to get through this whole and healthy

I’ve had so many calls and emails from clients about the Coronavirus that I thought it might be a good idea to put out some ideas on handling the situation that aren’t generally talked about.

There’s a lot of fear involved with this thing. It’s such an unknown, can happen really fast and we’re not used to being so isolated. It’s like we don’t have any more support systems.

And unfortunately, we’ve had contradictory and sometimes very dangerous news related to it.

One problem with fear is what happens to our bodies when we feel it. Did you know our bodies release 1400 physical and chemical reactions as well as hormones when we get stressed or fearful? And even when the fear or stress stops our bodies will still continue to produce adrenaline and cortisol, which affects blood pressure, impairs our memory and immune response, there are digestion problems, blood sugar instability and high levels of cholesterol!

There are many places you can go online and find the typical stress response and fear tips.

BUT…..instead of talking about the general things you can do, I’d like to approach this using tested methods from Neuro Linguistic Programming, Medical Hypnosis, Neural Pathway Restructuring™ and spirituality.

Even though some of these seem so simple they still work!

One of the best tips you can use if you keep running fearful thoughts in your head is to pay attention to what you’re thinking. The minute you hear yourself saying things like:

“What if I get it? (or he/she or my child or my parent) Before going any further with the thought, say very loudly in your head “STOP!” If you do it again….say “STOP!”

Then, replace that thought with another on a more rational note. For instance: “I don’t have it! I’m doing everything I know that will help keep me well. I will stay healthy!”

You might have to do this several times before you stop the negative chatter.

This process eventually stops the repetitive thoughts and it also, unconsciously, gives us a sense of control over the situation. That’s a part of the issue with this virus. We feel like so much is out of our control. So anything we can do to feel like we’re actually doing something will help us handle it.

Another thing you can do to feel in control of this is to use self hypnosis. Hypnosis has had a bad rap for awhile but now hospitals and doctors are using it, first responder units use it and many coaches and therapists do so as well.

It’s not a trick. It’s a way to talk with and utilize the amazing ability of our body and mind.

You can use this simple process to de-stress, begin to “see” your body as a vibrant healthy organism or just as a break from all the craziness.

Go somewhere you can relax and not be disturbed. If it’s not a quiet place, then if possible, wear headphones. Noise really isn’t an issue….I’ve done this sitting at the entrance to Toon Town at Disneyland!

Take a few slow deep breaths. You might try breathing in slowly and then exhale, taking twice as long to do so. After about 5 of these you’re ready for the next step. Now, as you continue to breathe slowly and deliberately, pay attention to how, when you breath in, you can feel the relaxation start at the top of your head and move down your body. You might have to do several of these breaths to get all the way down your body.

Once you’ve got the hang of it……in your mind begin imagining that as your breath moves through and down your body it’s pushing all the stress, unease and fear further and further down your body and out the bottom of your feet. Keep this imagery up until you can feel that there is no more stress or fear sitting in your body.

Then sit with it or just slowly bring yourself back to “reality”.

If you’re more inclined toward the spirituality technique, follow the above to the “next step”.  And then:

…….Focus your attention on the area just above your head. Imagine you can feel a vibrating healing energy of the universe. You might even see it as a shimmering green ball of light. Now as you continue with your slow and deep breaths, imagine this ball of green healing energy of the universe flowing slowly down into your head, neck, shoulders, arms, torso, hips, legs and feet. As you do so, notice that you can also see all the cells in your body beginning to glisten with vibrant health. Not only do they glisten with health they begin to vibrant with it as well.

You can continue this for a while, allowing the energy to just melt into your body as it becomes a greenish glistening body of healthy energy.

Focus on the idea that your cells are healthy and vibrant. Continue with this until you’re ready to come back into the room.

Just to give you an idea of how impactful these techniques can be—when I was in my twenties I was diagnosed with cancer. I had recently completed a course in some of these techniques by an amazing teacher. She had us test our abilities to alter our body’s responses by hooking us up to various machines and then having us change our blood pressures, our heart rate and also our brain waves. I figured if I could do that I could heal myself of cancer. And I did! ( much to the surprise of my doctor) To this day I never had any more cancer.

If you would like more information or suggestions or if you need some help, please contact me at (818) 422-2474 or email me at debra@neuralpathwayrestructuring.com

Stay Well!

Change, Neural Pathway Restructuring

Are you stuck?

Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, you can’t seem to make desired changes in your life? Maybe you want to start exercising or reduce your calories to lose weight. Or you want to stop feeling anxious all the time. And then there’s the one where you really want to change your life completely but have no idea how….you’re stuck in a rut?

We all go through these periods in our lives.

And we’re stuck because all the “stuff “surrounding that “stuckness” is retained all the way down into the cellular level.

Did you know our cells are constantly talking with one another…and our brains are in on it? Our cells are directing our actions, thoughts, feelings, and even our beliefs. The implication of this is we have the potential for change.

That “stuckness” you feel is based on repetitive neural pathways you run which are triggered by anchors. Anchors are responses linked to a stimulus (a trigger) which causes a knee jerk reaction or behavior. Most of these anchors and behaviors are out of our awareness. They become second nature to us.

For instance:
• Some food smells can make you think of your mother because she used to make that particular food.
• A specific song can bring back memories of good or bad events.
• The sound of someone’s voice can make you think of someone else.

Again, this is usually out of our awareness. We just react to all of it.
And, when we get in a rut, we’re running specific neural pathways of behavior which keep us there by constantly repeating the same unwanted behaviors. Many people try and muscle through it…..berating themselves to do the desired behaviors. Sometimes this work but usually it only works for awhile and we’re right back where we started, except by then we’re really disappointed in ourselves.

With all the advances in neuroplasticity and neuroscience, it’s allowed us to understand how the body does this.

One thing you can do to start making the changes is to “catch” yourself when you start to do an unwanted behavior. Stop for a moment and think about what was happening or what were you feeling right before you started the action. Look at the sequence of behaviors and see if you can discover what “triggered” your response (the behavior).

For instance, you’re trying to lose weight….you tell yourself you are not going to eat anymore ice cream until the weight is off. Then you find yourself in the checkout line at the supermarket buying a pint of your favorite flavor! What happened?

Many people will realize they’re feeling kind of blue or they’ve had a bad day. Maybe you got in an argument with your partner or co-worker. Or maybe you’re feeling like it doesn’t make any difference anyway—no one cares.
……………And then you’re in the checkout line.

All these things point to what we call “eating your feelings”! We eat the ice cream, the chocolate or the pizza to make ourselves feel again. Our brains crave the “feel good” neuro peptides so we eat sugar, fat and/or salt.

If you can pinpoint what is “triggering” your cravings you can start making better choices or at least stop yourself from reaching for the ice cream. You can create other, healthier, ways to create a better mood.

With the Neural Pathway Restructuring™ Method you can alter those pathways in a relatively short time without all the agony of “white knuckling it”.

Change, Neural Pathway Restructuring

How Neural Pathway Restructuring™ Came To Be

To be completely open with you, it came out of frustration.

Growing up in a household with an emotionally abusive mother and then repeatedly getting into abusive relationships, I was searching for answers. Why did I get out of one abusive relationships only to get into another one? Even though I was sure this time it would be different.

When I married, and had a child, I was certain that this relationship would work. And of course, I was wrong. Once again, I had picked someone who would repeat the behaviors I had come to believe were behaviors of someone who loved you. Only this time, I had a child. And I was determined I would not teach her that this was “love”.

During the last year of that marriage I attended a Neuro Linguistic Programming (N.L.P.) training and my eyes were opened to how I had continually recreated patterns from my childhood. How without consciously realizing it, I searched for someone to treat me similar to my mother. Because after all, that had to be love!

I was so amazed by this training that I took the Master level and went on to become a Trainer in N.L.P. Not only did I get a divorce, I opened an Institute and began coaching others in how they could completely change their lives for the better. They could get out of all the old destructive patterns of behavior and be the person they wanted to be.

After working with abused women, children and men as well as drug and alcohol addicts I realized that many people would deal with a presenting problem and heal it but then later, it might show up in a different way. Something was going on that hadn’t been addressed.

That lead me to learning all I could about how the brain works, how we encode information and behavior and what can we do to change it. So much new research was appearing on neuroscience and the plasticity of the brain and I had access to working neuroscientists.

After years of trial and error, utilizing various techniques from N.L.P., Ericksonian Hypnosis, guided imagery, the work of Dr. Candace Pert and Dr. Bruce Lipton we well as the work in neuroplasticity, I began to experiment and test a new process I call Neural Pathway Restructuring™.

As I worked with these presenting problems it became obvious to me that we were working with more than just negative emotions, limiting beliefs and memories. In fact, we were working with the very strategies that define ourselves and our approach to life. These strategies were reinforced in our brains and went as deeply as the cellular level.

It was almost as if we were addicts for our own behaviors. And in essence we are.

Not only do we generate neurological pathways of behavior in our brain, we become addicted to our own brain chemicals. Just as an addict must get high off an external chemical, we too can be addicted to a behavioral strategy which releases the sought after chemicals. If our behavior is of a positive nature then we never worry about it. But, if the behavior is undesirable, we may try all manner of interventions to change it only to find we’re replacing it with something else.

Neural Pathway Restructuring™ is a painless, relatively quick method to restructure the neurological pathways of the brain to create the results we want.

Find out more about Neural Pathway Restructuring™ here and about Debra Fentress here!

Change, Neural Pathway Restructuring

Change is hard

I’m going out on a limb by saying this but change is hard. We are all creatures of habit. To get ourselves to do something different can be equivalent to running a marathon without first training for it. Think how many times you’ve ever tried the “white knuckle” approach to something. How successful were you?

The problem with changing our behaviors is not in our desire to do so. The problem is that we’re dealing with our two minds. The conscious mind, often called the rational mind and the unconscious mind or our emotional nature.

To change anything in our lives, these two minds have to be in agreement.

The conscious or rational mind is that part of us that is analytical and can delay gratification for long term goals or payoffs. The unconscious or emotional mind deals with pain and pleasure and is a pleasure seeking being.

The unconscious mind is interested in instant gratification. It wants things to be easy and quick. And it is the part of us that gets things done. The unconscious mind easily over rides the conscious mind when it comes to getting us to do things. The reason is that most of our behaviors are done unconsciously or without our awareness. We just do them without thinking about it.

We’ve actually created neural pathways in the brain which run automatically whenever it’s time to do a specific behavior. You don’t have to think about how to overeat or brush your teeth….you just do it or you could say your unconscious mind does it.

So every time you try and get your conscious mind to change a behavior through will power, you are attempting to override a neural pathway that is practically set in stone. After a while, we actually get worn down by our own self supervision. How many times have you attempted to do something and just got fed up with the constant monitoring of your behavior? We can only do this so long before we are exhausted.

If you’ve ever tried to lose weight through dieting you know what I mean. Every morsel you put in your mouth you have to think about and weigh the pros and cons.

Another reason change is hard is because we keep changing our minds! One minute our rational mind thinks we want to lose the weight or stop drinking or get that report done and then we’re thinking about that piece of cake left in the kitchen or just one little drink won’t hurt.

So the problem isn’t that you are lazy or lack motivation. The problem is the battle between the conscious and unconscious mind. And to get these two in alignment, you have to restructure those neural pathways.  

Recently, scientists have discovered what they call Brain Plasticity where our brain cells or neurons are constantly making new pathways. This means that your brain can change! You can create the neural pathways of your choice.

Change can then become quite easy because you’re creating on the unconscious level. So the next time you go to repeat an unwanted behavior, you find yourself doing the desired behavior. This is part of the research that went into my development of the Neural Pathway Restructuring™. I’ve used it with several different habitual behaviors such as smoking, alcoholism, drug addiction, bulimia, picking, OCD, PTSD, anxiety disorders and Tourette’s Syndrome.  I also use a form of it in many of my workshops to assist groups to let go of limiting beliefs they may have about themselves and their ability to be, do or have what they want.

If you’re interested in learning more about Neural Pathway Restructuring™, please go to: NeuralPathwayRestructuring.com

Change

I Didn’t Do It! My Brain Made Me!

pathEveryday we “recreate” ourselves and our lives using the same patterns over and over. Even those of us who want to change things, whether it’s ourselves or our external world, will repeat the same behaviors.

If you’ve ever made an intention or decision to change something about yourself or your life and found you ended up right back where you started, then you understand what I’m talking about.

Our brains are hardwired to create pathways that promote habitual behavior.

neuronsOnce that pathway is “set”, our basal ganglia either runs a “go” message pathway or a “stop” message pathway. Unfortunately for those of us trying to change a behavior, if we have a habit of behaving in a certain manner, the “go” pathway will set off before the “stop” pathway……even when we don’t want it to!

And on top of all that, once the habit is formed, you’re then predisposed to act in ways similar to the original habit. For instance, if you want to lose weight but you have a weakness toward deserts, you’re more likely to substitute any kind of sugar if you give up the deserts.

AND if you get rid of any and all things that are “sweet”, like throwing out all processed sugars or fruits, you’ll be setting yourself up for failure. Going all out “cold turkey” doesn’t usually work! It’s almost as if our subconscious mind goes into an immediate panic mode when we tell it “you cannot have anything!”.

chocolate

What can you do?

One way you can start creating a new pathway of behavior is by replacing an unwanted behavior with a desired similar one. Telling yourself not to think about something or that you’re not going to do it only keeps the unwanted behavior in the forefront of your mind. Instead, you want to divert the behavior into a different one.

Examples:
If you’re trying to stay away from deserts, you can replace typical desserts like cake, pies, ice cream, any baked goods, etc. with a healthier option like fruit without whipped cream or toppings.

If you find your issue with weight loss is constantly snacking all day: instead of reaching for the regular foods you consume, chew on sugar free gum.

Or maybe you have a habit of quickly getting mad at someone and then saying something you end up regretting. Instead of trying to stop yourself from getting angry, see if you can catch the beginnings of it and first say “Stop” internally, then consciously take 3 deep breaths and say “Relax” with each exhale. Eventually, this will become the habit rather than the verbal response. (It would also be beneficial to deal with the underlying cause of the anger at some point)

Whatever your “bad” habit of choice is, think of something you can replace it with. Plan it out and set it up…..leaving things to chance is a sure fire way to go right back to the old behavior.

sign

You can use your brain to help you change an unwanted behavior. The brain doesn’t know the difference between something real or a memory of something. If you spend a couple of minutes each morning and evening imagining yourself behaving the way you desire, after awhile you will have created a new pathway of that behavior which will compete with the old unwanted one.

If you start behaving in the unwanted pattern, just turn your brain to the “imagined” behavior.

White knuckling it doesn’t really work. We’ve spent a long time creating the unwanted behaviors and it can take awhile to replace them with new desired behaviors.

It’s said that there is a battle for cortical space in our brains so if you don’t keep up the practice until the new pathway is formed you’ll lose it. This is why it takes at least 28 days to start seeing automatic results.

So decide on a plan of action, set it up for optimal results, turn your mind to the desired result and keep it up for at least 28 days.

If you find you need help breaking unwanted patterns of behavior or want more information check out:

http://www.neuralpathwayrestructuring.com

Resources:

http://news.mit.edu/2005/habit

Pathway-Specific Striatal Substrates for Habitual Behavior.   Neuron, Published Online January 21 2016.

Change

Five Ways to Put the Sizzle Back in Your Relationship

Let’s face it; keeping the sizzle with your partner can get overshadowed by life in general. And yet, that’s what part of what we fell in love with. If you want to rekindle those feelings use these five tips to get that lovin feeling back.

1.) How often do you compliment your partner? Or notice when he/she does something for you without being asked?

  • We all like to be appreciated. Too often in relationships, we get used to our partners doing things and we slack off showing them how much it means to us or makes our lives just a little bit easier.
  • When your partner does something for you, even if it’s to take out the garbage…..tell them how thoughtful it is of them.

2.) Make love more often! That’s right…..I said make love more often.

  • For women, the act of lovemaking lets us feel loved and cherished.
  • For men, it takes the act of lovemaking for them to express love and be able to be vulnerable.
  • Make sure you make time for sex and lovemaking….even if you have to schedule it.
  • Sunday mornings are a great time for “lying in” as the Brits would say and enjoying a leisurely morning of lovemaking.
  • Create a ritual of it with lovemaking, breakfast in bed, reading the paper or cuddling for a while.

3.) Instead of getting upset over your partner’s idiosyncrasies, go back and remember how interesting or endearing those unique traits were when you first met. Letting our partners know that their quirks and crazy habits are part of why we love them can work wonders.

  • The next time your partner does one of those quirky things, give then a kiss or a hug, telling them how much you love it.
  • We all want to be accepted for who and how we are. Let your partner know that you love them with all their zany habits.

4.) Let out your inner sex kitten or Don Juan. It’s not only good for your soul but your love life as well.

  • Set up a special date and spend the night at a luxurious hotel.
  • Go out to a romantic night of dining and dancing.
  • If you’re a woman, surprise your partner by wearing the sexiest dress you can find. Make it one you would probably never wear before. Add super high heels and for extra punch, wear a wig in a style and color completely different than your real hair.
  • If you’re a man, dress up if you usually dress casual and vice versa. Or dress in a way that you’d really like to but have never had the courage. Imagine you are Don Juan and treat your woman accordingly.
  • Eat chocolates, drink champagne and take a bubble bath together.
  • Play!!

4.) Remember to listen when your partner speaks. Not paying attention or ignoring someone leads to feeling of invalidation on their part. After awhile, they are left feeling unloved.

  • If you get home and your partner starts in on their day before you’ve had a second to wind down, ask for a time out. Being honest about the need to relax without dealing with anything is better than tuning out your partner.
  • Remember….some people like lots of details and others can’t handle them. Pay attention to which you are and which way your partner is. Then both of you need to honor those differences. Just being aware of it can generate change.

5.) Create a safe environment within your marriage. Your partner is not your enemy so develop some “rules” for disagreements.

  • No name calling or foul language
  • No physical, mental or emotional abuse
  • No idle threats of leaving or divorce. If you’re at that place in the relationship, you need to see a lawyer.
  • Let the other person speak and listen to them.
  • Give each person a chance to speak and be heard
  • Pick your battles carefully….sometimes you’re just in a bad mood. Ask yourself if it’s worth it?

It takes time and effort to keep the fires stoked in a relationship. If we just coast along, we can end up with two people who don’t know each other anymore.

You got together because you found each other wonderful, irresistible and loveable. Those feelings can be rekindled with some attention and effort.

It’s so worth it to have that special other in your life. To have someone there for you and on your side.

Whatever it takes, it can make all the difference in the world.

Change

Change Your Brain?

Every once in awhile someone comes along that I, as a Life Change Catalyst am really glad that I do the work that I do. I have debated whether to write this post about this young man but finally decided that it might be of benefit to others to find out just what can be done with the right techniques. And just so you know, I have permission to write this although I have changed some details.

About a year ago, I was presented with the opportunity to work with a young man who has been diagnosed with borderline autism, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. He is a high functioning individual who has accomplished much in his life.

Several things about him stand out. He is very positive and highly motivated to do well. Unlike many “normal” kids, he has not let his “diagnosed” disabilities stop him. When he decides he wants to do something, he finds a way.

He first came to me for the O.C.D. presenting as “picking” at his face, neck and hands. When I saw him at the initial session, he had scabs on these areas from the constant picking. O.C.D. is an anxiety disorder often characterized by repetitive behaviors.  These behaviors are unwanted and those with the disorder become very anxious if unable to do them.

Due to the success of putting a stop to the picking, he decided he wanted me to work with him on the A.D.H.D. as well. A.D.H.D. is a developmental disorder of attentional problems and hyperactivity. According to both him and his mother, he had difficulties in focusing, paying attention, getting out of control verbally and the typical fidgety behaviors. Again, we had success with putting a stop to the behaviors. An added surprise was that he was able to stop taking the medications he had been on for years. In the past, they had tried to do this and he would get migraine type headaches. This time, no headaches and no more A.D.H.D. behaviors.

Because of my work with N.L.P. (Neuro Linguistic Programming), Hypnosis and especially Neuro Pathway Restructuring™, I knew that if we could break up the neuro pathways of the behaviors, then we could stop them.

When we are born, we have about 100 billion neuronal connections available to us. A neuron can be connected to as many as 15,000 other neurons forming a complex series of pathways. To put it simply, a pathway is formed when we repeatedly experience something. Every time you brush your teeth, your brain runs down a neural path thereby strengthening it.

These neural pathways are triggered to run by all kind of things: a look, a sound and even a smell. We’re usually unaware of them even though they drive our behaviors. They’re not something we have to pay attention to unless we start having problems. Problems can range from smoking to drug addiction, gaining weight to not exercising, repeating sabotaguing behaviors to procrastination and the whole range of “negative” actions.

Trying to force yourself to stop these behaviors is sometimes successful…at least for awhile. The problem is that the behaviors become neuro pathways which want to run. As I mentioned earlier, unless we can do something to stop the pathway from running our “plastic” brain will find a way to recreate the behaviors. And that’s where N.L.P., Neuro Pathway Restructuring™ and Hypnosis come in. Using a combination of these techniques, we can stop the transmission of the chemical which sets off the behavior.

Imagine if you could, discovering how your brain works to generate behaviors. Or how to alter those behaviors. What could you do with your life?

What could our kids do? Especially the teenagers? People would be able to let go their Limiting Beliefs about themselves. They would be motivated to actualize their potential. They would know how to generate behaviors that serve them rather than harm them. Just think what we could do……..

If you’re at all curious, check out the upcoming workshops in N.L.P. and Neuro Pathway Restructuring™.

Go to: http://www.debrafentress.com/practitioner.html

And : http://www.neuralpathwayrestructuring.com/home.html

Change

How to Make the Law of Attraction Work for You

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Nowadays, wherever you look there are numerous articles, books and websites devoted to the Law of Attraction. People want to know how to apply the law and draw to themselves everything they desire. And according to books like The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and Money and the Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks this is something everyone can do.

If everyone can do it, how come more people aren’t? Or let’s get personal—how come you’re not? Actually, you are using it. Just not in the way you hoped. Because the Law is always working whether we consciously use it or not.

There are many facets to the Law of Attraction. You’re probably aware of most of them. You have to:

  1. Know what you want.
  2. Be in complete alignment with that.
  3. Focus on what you want.
  4. Let go.

Sounds easy, right? Not exactly. It’s simple but not easy.

For one thing, how many people really know what they want? And if they do, can they narrow it down to one thing. And are you supposed to want money or what money can bring you? What if you want a lot of things? Then what do you do?

Suppose you know what you want. How do you know you’re in complete alignment? This one is easy. If you don’t already have it then you’re not in alignment! So then, how do you get in alignment if you don’t know how you’re out of alignment?

That one is a little more challenging. If you don’t have something you want, then somewhere inside you, probably on an unconscious (meaning out of your awareness) level you have conflicting feelings about having it. For instance, many people say they want more money but if you ask them what they think about having more money, they will often say things like: “If I have more money, then people will constantly hit me up for loans” or “More money means more work”. With comments like these it’s easy to see why they haven’t manifested more money.

Those comments are what we call “Limiting Beliefs” and we hold these deep inside where they basically drive our behavior without our awareness. And all the exercises that tell you to write out your beliefs, why you have them and then write out the opposite belief don’t actually work because these beliefs are held in our brains as neuro-pathways. You might say we become hard wired to actualize them so just repeating another belief has shown to actually backfire and can cause more contradictory thoughts.

What about focusing on what you want? Well, obviously if you don’t know exactly what you want that’s a problem. If you do know but still aren’t manifesting, it probably means you’re focusing on what you don’t want rather than what you do want.

This is a challenge sometimes when our external reality is not what we want. How do you focus on having a dream house when you have trouble making the mortgage or rent payment? Or having the body you always wanted when you look in the mirror and only see the weight you need to lose? Or maybe you want to be in a loving relationship but everyone you go out with is less than desirable?

If everywhere you look you see the things you don’t want it can be hard to focus on the desired result with all that staring you in the face!

This brings us to Letting Go. If your external reality is so far from your desired reality, you may find it difficult to not get desperate about it. And desperation just attracts more things and situations to be desperate about.

Sometimes too, you may also be dealing with past experiences of trying to use the Law of Attraction and only having it work a little. This sets up a pattern of expected failure so when we decide to try it again, there is a part of us that expects it to fail.

So what do we do?

I’ll be addressing this in upcoming posts but to begin with, we need to start restructuring the brain. Most of the people I talk with about the Law of Attraction feel that it has failed them at one time or another.

Therefore, I want to put a challenge out there to my readers to join me in the Positivity Challenge.

I am not talking about only speaking in “positive” terms or being a Pollyanna. I’m suggesting that for one week, starting Wednesday, June 23rd you become a more positive person and therefore draw more positive experiences into your life. We’ll do this in 3 ways.

  1. Finding the positive—-In N.L.P. (Neuro Linguistic Programming) we use the term “Reframe”. A Reframe is a way of altering our perception of something. For instance, if someone were to lose their job they could reframe it by seeing that now they have the opportunity to do what they love. Or, you have to go to a business function and you really don’t want to go. You could see the experience as an opportunity to meet a new person, make a new friend or even just make someone’s day by being there.
  2. Setting a positive expectation—-Expect to have positive things happen to you. The Law of Expectation is one of the most powerful laws in regards to manifesting by using the Law of Attraction. When we expect to receive, we do. When we expect to have a good time, we do. If we go around telling ourselves something terrible is going to happen, the odds of it happening go up. So instead, regardless of what is happening in your life, expect the best.
  3. Co-create with Spirit (or whatever you believe to be the driving force of the universe)—-For one week, make it a point to take a moment every morning to ask your Higher Self, God, Spirit or the Force what your next step should be and when you get the answer or nudge, Do It!

These are very simple ways in which you can alter the neuro-pathway of a failure expectation. The only requirement is that you commit to it and you do it. So please join us this week and watch how your life can change.

Please sign in on the comments and let us all know how you’re doing and what is showing up in your life this week. You never know when what you write may be the one thing someone else needed to hear!

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Want to know how to restructure your neuro-pathways and change yourself and your life? Click here!

Wood et al. Positive Self-Statements: Power for Some, Peril for Others. Psychological Science, 2009; DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-9280.2009.02370.x

Change

Change is Hard

4 Comments

I’m going out on a limb by saying this but change is hard. We are all creatures of habit. To get ourselves to do something different can be equivalent to running a marathon without first training for it. Think how many times you’ve ever tried the “white knuckle” approach to something.  How successful were you?

The problem with changing our behaviors is not in our desire to do so. The problem is that we’re dealing with our two minds. The conscious mind, often called the rational mind and the unconscious mind or our emotional nature.

To change anything in our lives, these two minds have to be in agreement.

The conscious or rational mind is that part of us that is analytical and can delay gratification for long term goals or payoffs. The unconscious or emotional mind deals with pain and pleasure and is a pleasure seeking being.

The unconscious mind is interested in instant gratification. It wants things to be easy and quick. And it is the part of us that gets things done. The unconscious mind easily over rides the conscious mind when it comes to getting us to do things. The reason is that most of our behaviors are done unconsciously or without our awareness. We just do them without thinking about it.

We’ve actually created neuro pathways in the brain which run automatically whenever it’s time to do a specific behavior. You don’t have to think about how to overeat or brush your teeth.…you just do it or you could say your unconscious mind does it.

So every time you try and get your conscious mind to change a behavior through will power, you are attempting to override a neuro pathway that is practically set in stone. After a while, we actually get worn down by our own self supervision. How many times have you attempted to do something and just got fed up with the constant monitoring of your behavior? We can only do this so long before we are exhausted.

If you’ve ever tried to lose weight through dieting you know what I mean. Every morsel you put in your mouth you have to think about and weigh the pros and cons.

Another reason change is hard is because we keep changing our minds! One minute our rational mind thinks we want to lose the weight or stop drinking or get that report done and then we’re thinking about that piece of cake left in the kitchen or just one little drink won’t hurt.

So the problem isn’t that you are lazy or lack motivation. The problem is the battle between the conscious and unconscious mind. And to get these two in alignment, you have to restructure those neuro pathways.

Recently, scientists have discovered what they call Brain Plasticity where our brain cells or neurons are constantly making new pathways. This means that your brain can change! You can create the neuro pathways of your choice.

Change can then become quite easy because you’re creating on the unconscious level. So the next time you go to repeat an unwanted behavior, you find yourself doing the desired behavior.

This is part of the research that went into my development of the Neuro Pathway Restructuring™. I’ve used it with several different habitual behaviors such as smoking, alcoholism, drug addiction, bulimia, picking, OCD, PTSD, anxiety disorders and Tourette’s Syndrome.  I also use a form of it in many of my workshops to assist groups to let go of limiting beliefs they may have about themselves and their ability to be, do or have what they want. To check out the workshops, go to www.DebraFentress.com.

If you’re interested in learning more about Neuro Pathway Restructuring™ , please go to: www.NeuralPathwayRestructuring.com


Change

Patterns Of Behavior

Regardless of how enlightened and knowledgeable we may think we are…. Or how many self-help books and gurus we seek, there will always come a time when we get stuck in repeating patterns of behavior.

No one is immune from it. Many of my clients are under the false assumption that if they come in and do some work with me that their lives are “fixed”. If only this were true. I’ve always said that I’d be a billionaire if I just had that magic wand.

Life is a journey we start the minute we come into this world (and some believe even before). And like many journeys, we often have to go around obstacles or climb some mountains. In my mind, I think the path to enlightenment is similar to climbing a mountain where the road goes around and around as you go up the mountain. There will be times when the road levels out and we can take a breather. Then the climb starts as we go around the other side and we’ve got to work at it again.

At some point, we can get where we seem to be going around and around, not really getting anywhere. Just recently I found myself repeating a pattern that I wrote of on my other blog http://www.MagicMiraclesandMystery.com.

One of the most insidious patterns of behavior we can do is to be co-dependent with another person or even a behavior. As I spoke of in the other blog post, I think for many in my profession, this is something we have to watch out for. Just recently, I found myself overlooking obvious signs and making excuses for someone. I even went out of my way to be sure that I was being fair and reasonable to my own detriment.

When I realized how “unconscious” I was being, it shocked me. Here I was doing the very things I harp on students and clients about! We all need to Wake Up!

Co-dependency is a sneaky habit. It can show up in so many different ways. There are the most obvious ones where a person is codependent with an alcoholic or drug abuser. But the codependent person can also end up anesthetizing their pain with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, work, gambling and even computer games.

Then there are the less obvious ones. Another common one is getting hooked on misery or being a victim. And why not? You get a lot of attention when people feel sorry for you. And you have an excuse for not doing things.

What about not taking care of yourself or your needs? That’s a common one and hard to identify because we don’t want to appear selfish or needy.

In the field of service, many will be obsessed with the pain and suffering of their clients….sometimes more so than the client. They get to sacrifice themselves in this way. This can lead to being a martyr or a rescuer which is another form of codependency.

It’s sneaky. You can find yourself down this path before you realize it. But, not all is lost. The crucial element is to be on the alert for it if this is one of your patterns. The other is to get in touch with your anger about it…..because it will most likely be there. We can be angry at ourselves and at the other person or situation. Use the anger to motivate you to do something. Once you’re ready to move out of the relationship, then it’s time to figure out what got you there in the first place.

Most of us are just running neural pathways we created early on in our lives. At a young age, if we think something often enough, it becomes a neural pathway. At birth we have 100 billion neurons which form trillions of connection resulting in a network of neural pathways. Those that aren’t used often enough are eliminated or “pruned” from the pathway. But the rest can be involved in creating our behaviors.

Research has shown that the brain is very plastic and can be restructured or rewired. We can do this by thinking differently over and over. This requires great diligence and perseverance as it takes up to 21 days to create a new pathway.

When I began my work with Neuro Linguistic Programming and Hypnosis, I wanted to find a way to deal with these repetitive behaviors caused by the pathways. After seeing 100s of clients and trying many different approaches, I finally came up with a process which has proven to be effective in restructuring these neuro pathways. I’ve used it with clients who wanted to get out of damaging relationships, to stop drinking or using drugs, stop gambling, with bulimia and any number of habitual behaviors. And there are now people in Europe trained in the process who are not only utilizing it with these behaviors but with PTSD and MS.

And it has worked. I still get feedback from clients I worked with years ago telling me how their lives have changed.

So, it is doable. Just know that life is a journey of lessons. We learn and we go on with that knowledge. And then there is something else to learn. When you’re done with your learning’s then you’ll go Poof!

If you’re interested in the process you can find out more at http://www.NeuralPathwayRestructuring.com. And if you are finding yourself repeating self sabotaging behaviors, we do have a workshop coming up to address that issue. It’s called Breaking the Cycle™ on June 12 & 13. To sign up or find out more, go to http://www.debrafentress.com/breakingthecycle.html.